Friday, September 25, 2009

"Bathroom Instructions" by: Lilyana Brown

Me: In the bathroom taking a minute for myself to go to the bathroom.

*Knock, knock, knock*

Lily: (On hands and knees with face and mouth pressed up against crack under door.) "Mom, are you okay in there?"

Me: "Yes, I'm fine! Go play!"

Lily: "Just be careful in there okay!"

Me: "Yes, Lily, thank you!"

Lily: "Just go potty. You can read my books on the toilet."

Me: (slightly annoyed) "Okay, thank you! Go play, now!"

Lily: "Make sure you wipe yourself with the toilet paper and wash your hands!"

Me: "Yes, Lily, thank you for reminding me!"

Lily: "Do you need some help in there?"

Me: (ugh, sigh!) "No, thank you, I am fine! Can you please leave me alone now!"

Lily: "Okay, just be careful and make sure you wash your hands and flush the toilet!"

Me: "OKAY!"

Lily: (Heavy breathing under door. Fingers poking under door.)

Me: (Done with my sole moment of alone time)

Seriously now, am I that annoying when SHE is using that bathroom?

4 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL! ISn't it amazing that when you become a mother you "me" moments no longer exist. Not even in the bathroom

Alison said...

That is TOO funny. It is difficult to find a moment of peace once one becomes a parent. Kids are so funny.

Sharron said...

LOL! My guess you probably are that annoying! Wish you had a camera, that would made some goo pics pf those little fingers, that is a new one.

Just help you feel better, how do you manage to get the door closed without a big ole fuss going on? I haven't had a private moment since Mariah could crawl! By the time the kids quit bugging me, I had dogs that would whine and scratch at the door and now it's grandkids. Don't know why they want to come in, half the time I wish I didn't have to stay!

Liz said...

I know it seems annoying to you now, but as a mother who knows exactly how you feel, Lily's dialog was really cute and nurturing. I think you'll get a kick out of reading it one day.